Akatsuki Life
by lavendermoonflower
Summary: They are the Akatsuki, a group of s-class criminals. To people outside of the Akatsuki, they are heartless ninjas but to Hitomi they are a bunch of idiots that can't take care of themselves. Hitomi is a member of the Akatsuki and is the host of the ten-tailed wolf. Read on to find out the daily lives of Hitomi and the Akatsuki. WARNING: OC characters involved. T for Hidan's mouth.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first story so I hope you guys like it. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did there would be more Akatsuki moments.

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"It has been a while since we all have gathered together in one room or cave." Said Pein. "That's simply because Deidara blew up our old base with his clay monstrosities and we had to live in seperate bases while waiting for the builders to fix our main one." Said Sasori. "My artistic creations are not monstrosities, Danna and Tobi pissed me off that day, un!" Said Deidara. "Name one day Tobi didn't piss you off, Deidara." Said Kisame. "Shut up Kisame!" "Hey guys, blondie didn't say un." Said Hidan. "Un." Deidara added. "Dammit!"

"Leader-sama, there is someone missing." Said Itachi. "Are you sure Itachi, I'm there is eleven of us here." Said Pein. "_Let's see, there's: Me, Konan, Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetzu, Tobi, and... wait where did she go? She was here a minute ago." _"Has anyone seen Hitomi?" Said Pein. "Tobi hasn't seen Hitomi-chan, Leader-sama!" Said Tobi. "That bitch is always disappearing." Said Hidan. "Who are you calling a bitch, Hidan?" Said a voice behind him. "Ackk! Don't pop up behind me like that! Said Hidan. Tobi glomped Hitomi and yelled, "Hitomi-chan! Tobi missed you!" "I missed you too, Tobi." Said Hitomi patting him in the head. "Where did you go Hitomi?" Said Pein. "I went to deal with some sound nin nearby here. Orochimaru probably sent them after me." Said Hitomi. "You were sent on a mission to spy on Orochimaru right? What happened, un?" Said Deidara. *shiver* "I don't want to talk about it." Said Hitomi distrubed. She did want to remember what happened on that mission.

_**Hitomi was running around Orochimaru's base looking for her target. She finally found his chamber after ten minutes of running. Orochimaru's door was ajar so Hitomi decided to add chakra to her hands and feet and then went to crawl on the ceiling. She went inside his chamber, while on the ceiling, it was dark in there, but she had awesome night vision so she was ok with it. "**__Spiderpig, spiderpig, Hitomi does whatever a spiderpig does! Can she swing from a web? No she can't. She's a pig! Lookout! Hitomi is the spiderpig!"__** Hitomi sang in her head while crawling on the ceiling. **__"I love watching the Simpsons ." __**Hitomi thought. She made her way across the chamber like a spiderpig and stopped at Orochimaru's bedroom door. Under her, she saw Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi's brother, looking through Orochimaru's door looking paler than usual and looked distrubed. **__"Hehe, he reminds me of Deidara from the time when he accidently caught Konan and Pein having sex in Pein's office. The poor bomber did not talk for three days." __**Hitomi thought. **_

_**Remembering her mission and because she was curious of what Sasuke was looking at, Hitomi looked through the crack of the door. What she saw would give her nightmares for a week. Orochimaru was on his bed fondling himself while looking at a picture of Sasuke. What made it worse was that the room filled with a bunch of lit candles and also on the walls were a bunch of pictures of Sasuke, he wasn't looking the camera of course. Hitomi could have sworn she saw a few pictures of Itachi there too. "**__Geez, no wonder why this kid looked distrubed." __**Hitomi thought. "Oh Sasuke, you make me feel so alive." Moaned Orochimaru. Hitomi and Sasuke both involuntary shivered after hearing that, knowing that this would probably scar them. "Disgusting." Hitomi whispered to herself but Sasuke heard her and looked up. He didn't reconize her as an Akatsuki member because she wasn't wearing her cloak. **_

_**Sasuke took out his katana and pointed it at her. Hitomi jumped down and took out a can from her kunai pounch. "Forget that I was ever here." Said Hitomi. She threw the can at Sasuke and teleported outside of the hideout. Before she left, Hitomi said, "This will help you at night." Sasuke looked at the spot where she once stood and looked at the can. The label read: Snake Repellent, use in case a snake ever attacks you. Aim at the face of the snake. Sasuke put away the can in his kunai pouch. He glanced at Orochimaru's door and walked back to his room. Sasuke silently reminded himself to thank the girl if he ever see's her again. When Sasuke got back to his room, he heard the alarm go off, which meant that the girl set off the alarm outside of the hideout.**_

"I'll give you the report later, Pein."Said Hitomi. Pein nodded his head at her, which meant ok. "Now we will start the meeting." Said Pein. "Today's topic: the extraction of the bijuu from the jinchuriki."

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I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please tell me if I had made any grammar or spelling errors. I am a new author so I might make a lot of mistakes. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

**Bold means ten-tails talking or memories**

_Italic means thoughts_

Enjoy :D

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_Previously on Akatsuki Life: _

_"Now we will start the meeting." Said Pein. "Today's topic: the extraction of the bijuu from the jinchuriki._

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"_Wait, what did he say?" Thought Hitomi._

**"The extraction of the bijuu from the jinchuriki." **Said a voice inside her stomach.

_*sigh*"I had hoped he didn't say that, Haru."_

**"Don't worry Hitomi, we can always run away." Said Haru. "Plus, no one knows that I exist, let alone inside you." He added.**

"Yea, but Pein knows."

Pech, as if noticing her changing mood, said, "We are collecting all of them." Hitomi stiffened slightly but all of the members, except for Pein, didn't notice. He then added, "We are collecting up to the nine-tails."

Hitomi relaxed, _"Whew, that was close." Hitomi thought._

"I will decide who will go hunt down the one-tails after you guys settle into our new main base. You guys may leave now." Said Pein.

The Akatsuki had undid the jutsu that kept them in the cave and went back into their physical bodies. When Hitomi got back into her body, she got up from her cross-legged position and stretched her arms.

"That jutsu always wear me out." Said Hitomi stretching.

Hitomi was outside in an empty field outside of the Land of Tea. She was hungry, so Hitomi decided to inside the town to get someting to eat. Hitomi went inside a tea shop, wanting to eat some dango. When Hitomi went inside the shop, everybody in there looked at her with a fearful look in their eyes.

_"Why are they all looking at me like that, is having purple hair that scary?" Thought Hitomi._

**"Honey, they are looking at you like that because of your cloak, not because of your hair." Said Haru. **

Hitomi looked down and noticed that she was wearing her Akatsuki cloak.

_"Whoops, I forgot, oh well." Said Hitomi._

**"And besides, how can they notice your hair when you're wearing that huge bamboo hat." Haru said.**

Hitomi walked to an empty table, waiting for someone to take her order.

"You go take her order!" Said a voice near the kitchen.

"No, you!" Said another.

"I don't want to die man!"

"I don't want to die too!"

"Will someone take my order or the both of you will die." Said Hitomi sounding impatient.

Hitomi wanted to laugh out loud right there, the looks on their faces were hilarious. They both look like they were going to piss their pants and Hitomi could have sworn one of them actually did. An old lady went to take her order, she was probably the owner of the place, instead of the two guys.

"Please excuse my grandsons, they are not normally like this but they should know better than to treat customers like this." Said the old lady.

"Its ok, people are always like this to me." Said Hitomi smiling at the old lady.

"I wonder why everyone is looking at you funny. Maybe its that hat of yours, can you take it off for me?" Asked the old lady.

"Grandma, can we talk to you in kitchen?" Said one of her grandsons bringing her to the kitchen.

Once they were in the kitchen, her grandson said, "Grandma, do you know that the woman out is an Akatsuki member?! She is an S-ranked criminal and can kill us in less than a minute." Said her grandson.

"Mizuki, I thought I had taught you and your brother Yuki not to treat customers like outsiders." Said the old lady.

"But grandma! She is a criminal! She is probably thinking of ways to kill us as we speak!" Exclaimed Yuki.

"Yuki, do not spout nonsense like that! Now, come on, we are making our customer wait to long." Said the old lady walking out of kitchen.

"Did I make you wait too long dear?" Said the old lady with her grandsons behind her.

"No you didn't." Said Hitomi glancing at the guys. They look like twins and seem to be around her age. The guys noticed her gaze and got noticibly paler.

"I'm sorry if I might have offended you by asking you to take off your hat." Said the old lady.

"No, you didn't offend me and I don't mind taking off my hat." Said Hitomi her hand holding the edge of her hat.

When Hitomi took off her hat, Mizuki's and Yuki's jaws dropped. They had expect for the Akatsuki woman to look ugly and scar-faced but they were wrong, very wrong. She was very beautiful, her long, purple brought out her golden eyes. They had never seen such a beautiful woman.

"Boys, close your mouths, you going to catch flies." Said Hitomi looking a little smug at how they reacted.

"Oh my, you look very beautiful, isn't she beautiful boys?" Asked the old lady. The two guys can only nod their heads dumbly at their grandma.

"So, what would you like to order?" Asked the old lady.

"I would like some dango and green tea." Said Hitomi giving her a bright smile.

"Coming right up!" Said the old lady walking toward the kitchen.

When she was gone, Yuki exclaimed, "Oh my god, the Akatsuki can smile!"

Hitomi was about to reply to that but she was interupted by a voice.

"Of course we can smile, un."

Mizuki and Yuki stiffened and slowly turned around to see four Akatsuki members standing behind them.

"Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, and Kisame, what are you guys doing here?" Asked Hitomi.

"We were heading toward the main base and decided to take a detour." Said Sasori.

"I see that your still in Hiruko, Sasori. Can you do me a favor and get out of that smelly puppet." Said Hitomi.

"My puppet is not smelly." Sasori scoffed.

"Yes it is." The four of them said.

"Fine, Hiruko was pretty dirty anyways." Said Sasori climbing out of Hiruko.

The four of them sat down the table Hitomi was at. Itachi on her left l, Sasori on her right, Deidara and Kisame in front of her.

"Here is your green tea and dango dear, oh I see your friends have joined you." Said the old lady.

"Thank you." Said Hitomi grabbing a stick of dango, but as she was about bite into her dango, she saw her teamates except for Sasori stare at the dango she was holding.

"Dango." Itachi muttered.

Chuckling, Hitomi asked, "Do you guys want some?"

Her only answer was "dango!", which came from Itachi.

Sasori shook his head at them, "This why I don't regret being a puppet."

"Shut up, Danna,un." Said Deidara with his mouth stuffed with dango.

Itachi looked like he was in love with his dango considering that his face was like this: 3

Hitomi and Sasori chuckled at how silly they looked while they were eating dango. Hitomi had just finished her green tea when the guys had stopped eating all of the sudden. She looked at the plate and saw only one stick of dango left. The three men looked at one another as if daring each other to take the last stick of dango.

"Hey Hitomi, who do you think should take the last stick of dango?" Asked Kisame.

Hitomi looked at each member wondering who should take the dango. When she laid her eyes on Itachi, she remembered what happened the last time when Itachi didn't get the last dango.

"I think Weasel-kun should take it, don't you guys remember the last time something like this happened?" Said Hitomi.

The Akatsuki members paled at the memory. Well, Deidara did, but Kisame just turned light blue, and Sasori can't pale but his eyes looked scared. Let's just say that the tea shop that the five of them went to in the Lightning Country had run out of dango and there happened to be a chainsaw museum next door...

Itachi looking happy that he gets to have the last dango, was about to grab the last until another hand had grabbed the dango.

"This stuff is the shit, yeah." Said a voice chewing the dango.

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Who do you think took Itachi's dango, post your answers in the reviews.

Please tell me if I made any spelling or grammar mistakes. Thank you.


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